At a certain point, the movements become memory, each twitch of muscle fiber growing more and more unconscious and out of his control

So when Junhee hits pause on their music mid-runthrough, the reverberation of the bass cutting off into silence, the suddenness makes Sehyoon stumble and almost fall.

“What’s up?” Sehyoon asks, breath coming deep and fast.  He palms the sweat off his forehead, looking to Junhee at the soundboard.

“Something’s off,” Jun muses, looking Sehyoon over with a critical eye and pursed lips.  “The feeling’s not there.”

Sehyoon exhales loudly, flopping onto the floor.  “I’m feeling something,” he mumbles, stretching out his aching calves.  Then, more audibly, “what’s missing?”

Junhee folds himself down next to Sehyoon, flush high on his sharp cheekbones.  He doesn’t answer right away, tapping his fingertips on the wooden floorboards.

“Have you ever been obsessed with someone?” he asks suddenly, and Sehyoon almost chokes.

“What?”

“That’s the feeling we want, right?”  Junhee shrugs one shoulder.  “I just want to know if you’ve ever felt like that.”  He looks perfectly serious, but Sehyoon knows better than to trust that face.

“I dunno.  Maybe.”

Junhee laughs.  “You’d know if you were obsessed with someone, Sehni.”

Sehyoon blows a stray piece of hair out of his eyes.  “Guess not, then.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”  Junhee nudges Sehyoon with his foot before standing, bending into a familiar stretch that’s as instinctual as breathing to them.  Sehyoon worries his bottom lip between his teeth.

“So you’ve been…”  He doesn’t want to finish the question.  This feels weird.  He knows Junhee better than basically anyone else on the planet, same as the rest of the members, but it’s still weird to ask.

“Obsessed with someone?”  Junhee laughs, falling into a lunge.  His smile shows off the glint of his teeth.  “Yeah.  I was an absolute mess, to put it lightly.”

Sehyoon can imagine.  Junhee’s kind of a bleeding heart — even more so before he got good at putting on a leader face and not showing every thought that passed through his head.

“Anyone I know?” he can’t help asking.

“Nah,” Junhee replies, switching to the other leg.  “Was a… a guy back at the theater company.”

Sehyoon doesn’t know why that makes a flush prickle in his cheeks, but it does.  He picks at the cracks between the floorboards with a fingernail, blunt and ragged from biting it down to the quick.

“So, uh,” he starts, unable to bear the quiet, “what do you think I should do?”

“I can’t exactly tell you to fall in love, or — or lust, or whatever, can I?”  Junhee drops to sit cross-legged in front of Sehyoon, resting his chin on his hand.  He sucks on his lower lip.  “Do you trust me?”

Now that makes Sehyoon really nervous, but he can’t lie to Junhee.

“Yeah.”

"I think…  we're thinking about this song wrong.  I think we need to take the energy and direct it at each other instead of the audience."

Sehyoon stares at him, stomach dropping like lead.  He can feel his ears go red.

"Why?" he manages after a second.  At the very least, Junhee looks sufficiently uncomfortable, too.

"Because obsession is so specific, right?  You can't direct it at an entire crowd, it's about one person."  Junhee bites his lip again and Sehyoon really, really wishes he'd stop.  Even if he does have a point.  Sehyoon takes a steadying breath.

"Okay."

Junhee's eyes go wide.  "Okay?"

"I can try," Sehyoon says, getting to his feet.  "I don't know if I'll be good."

They take their starting positions across the floor from each other.  Sehyoon shakes tension from his limbs.

“I don’t care if we’re a little sloppy this run,” Junhee says, “I just want to focus on the feeling.”  Sehyoon nods, and Junhee continues, “so when we’re facing the mirrors, just… look at me, okay?”

Sehyoon tries his best to match the vibe Junhee gives him, self-consciousness making him stiff in the face of Junhee’s intensity.  He thinks he must look so stupid, reaching and thrusting at him, a caricature of something that should be simmering hot.

The first run-through is, honestly, terrible.  Junhee’s counting through it all, forgoing music in favor of a steady five, six, seven, eight, and in the otherwise-silent room, it makes awkwardness crawl up Sehyoon’s limbs.  It’s uncomfortable and stumbling, and they both laugh when they get to the part with all the touching.

“Okay, okay,” Junhee breathes when they end, “I think we need the music or this is never gonna work.”

Junhee sets the music to ninety-percent speed to give them a buffer and hits play, bass resuming its humming below their feet.

The start is a little clumsy, but they begin to hit their stride soon enough.  The music does help, turns Junhee’s sharpness into an snarling energy that’s heated and enthralling.

When they hit the first point of contact, Junhee’s hand on his chest, body close behind, Sehyoon feels something like an electric current run across his skin.  His gaze snaps up in the mirror, catches Junhee’s as they hit the rest of the combo.  Sehyoon can’t shake the feeling as he breaks away and the choreography takes them to opposite ends of the studio floor.

Then again, facing each other for a four-count, and Junhee’s gaze traps him even as his body moves on autopilot.  They hit the next one, and he pivots to the mirrors for the sixteen-count facing out —

“No,” Junhee calls, almost making him falter, “stay facing me.”

Sehyoon catches himself, manages to get back into the flow of the combination as he turns back to Jun, and he swallows as his muscles burn and tense.

Junhee grins, tongue darting out to catch dripping sweat, and Sehyoon can’t tear his eyes away, matching him movement for movement, breath for breath.

They run through again, three times.  Four, five, dripping with perspiration and exhaustion and something close to a breakthrough.

“I want to run the second pre-chorus,” Junhee pants, “no music.  We need to nail that down.”

Sehyoon nods, taking his place in front of the mirrors.  During their rehearsals, his mind quiets down to a sedate, unthinking kind of place — he goes where Jun or Byeongkwan tells him without much question.  Exhausted like this, it’s even easier to let go and allow it to happen.

Junhee counts them through the sequence again and again, humming the melody line, each time a little more breathless.

Sehyoon curses the fact that they left this choreography loose because it means that Junhee's hands land differently on him every single run — once grazing his throat, another time sliding under the hem of his t-shirt.

And always, always, Junhee's heavy breath on the back of his neck, warm and buzzing as he marks their tempo.

This time, Junhee slides his arm around Sehyoon's waist and, with his other hand, twists fingers into Sehyoon's hair.  Their eyes catch in the mirror, exhausted and yet manic.  Junhee's voice stutters into silence, their rhythm arrested.

He doesn't move his hands or relinquish his proximity.  If anything, he presses closer, tightens his grip — Sehyoon can't hold back the soft noise he makes at the sting on his scalp.

It seems inevitable that they would tumble towards… whatever this is.  Junhee carefully, firmly, tilting Sehyoon's head back and to the side to expose more of his throat, watching them in the mirror.  Sehyoon swallowing, enraptured by the image they make.

"Can I…?" Junhee asks, the question woefully incomplete.

"Yeah," Sehyoon answers, trusting Jun implicitly.

Junhee ducks down, presses his lips to Sehyoon's neck. They're both disgustingly sweaty but he doesn’t seem to care, not when this moment feels as fragile as a soap bubble. Sehyoon twitches, shuddering when the slight movement pulls at his hair.

"Fuck, Sehni," Jun murmurs, "the way you move, I can't..."

Sehyoon wants to know, wants to turn around and ask, but Junhee has him caught. He opens his mouth to speak — instead of words, only a fluttering little sound comes out, embarrassing and too-honest.

But the expression on Junhee's face when Sehyoon looks in the mirror is nothing but honesty, hungry and open. All the sharp lines of his dancing have been distilled down to the cut of his mouth, the intensity of his eyes.

It makes Sehyoon move, finally, reaching back and clutching at Junhee's waist as best he can, bringing them closer together so the scant space between them closes into nothing but heat. Junhee's breath puffs against his skin with every kiss he presses down Sehyoon's neck.

Junhee relinquishes his grip on Sehyoon's hair to run his fingers through it instead, making Sehyoon shiver when his blunt nails catch on the sensitive skin at the nape.

"You're okay with this?" Junhee asks, like Sehyoon isn't practically melting into him right now.

"I'm... yeah. I want it." Sehyoon's voice cracks just slightly and his tongue darts out to wet his lips in a way he knows Byeongkwan would make fun of him for if he were here.

But Byeongkwan isn't here. Late as it is, it's a safe bet that it's just him and Jun left in the building. The thought is as exciting as it is terrifying.

Before he can think too hard about it, Junhee's turning him around and kissing the breath from his lungs, insistent and ravenous. Sehyoon gasps, presses forward with eyes closed. He feels a step behind, always on the back foot, following where he's led, but he trusts Junhee more than anyone.  He’ll lead Sehyoon where he wants to go, in the end.

"We shouldn't do this here," Junhee mutters between kisses, fingers tight and bruising on Sehyoon's jaw, other hand equally vice-like where it's slipped under his t-shirt to hold onto his waist.

Dazed, Sehyoon hums a vague question in response. Of course they shouldn't, but it's not his choice to make, right?

Junhee bites a curse and pulls back, holding Sehyoon's face still to look at him. Sehyoon lets him, licking at his already-wet lips without thinking.

"Do you even realize what you look like?" Junhee demands, drawing his thumb over Sehyoon's lower lip, following where his tongue had traced. Sehyoon breathes out slow, shaking his head. It makes Junhee laugh — not his usual laughter, but the kind that comes out when a situation is simply too unbelievable for words.

Sehyoon feels his eyebrows furrow at Junhee's outburst. Junhee expels a sharp breath, hand sliding down to loosely cup Sehyoon's neck.

"You'd let me do anything right now," he murmurs.

Sehyoon thinks he should be more alarmed at that, should push Junhee away and say, of course not. But at this moment, with Junhee's fingers hot on the side of his throat, he's hard-pressed to think of a single thing he wouldn't do. It's terrifying and freeing, makes his head even fuzzier.

So he nods. Breathes out a little, yeah.

Junhee laughs, then, something wild and manic in his eyes as Sehyoon's gaze catches on the points of his teeth.

"Okay," he says, and it sounds more like he's convincing himself than Sehyoon, "okay. Good."

Sehyoon grunts as Junhee pushes him to his knees, bruises from their hours and hours of practice flaring up at the impact and sending a shuddering sting through him. Disoriented, he can only stare up as Junhee slides his hand back into Sehyoon's hair, his hold loose but present, and Sehyoon might be inexperienced but he doesn't need experience to know what this looks like. What Junhee wants from him.

"Have you done this before?" Junhee asks.

Sehyoon shakes his head before he can think better of it. It's not expressly true — he and Byeongkwan make out sometimes, but never more than that.  And then back at the Mixnine dorms, he and Youngjo had fooled around a couple times in the throes of exhaustion and tension, laughing in the dark and grinding off on each others’ thighs under the blankets.

But this?  No, he’s never done this and he can’t lie to Junhee.

Jun’s gaze softens and he pets through Sehyoon’s hair in a moment of misplaced tenderness.

“You want this, though?”

Sehyoon nods again.  He’s not talkative at the best of times, and right now, he’s not sure what would come out if he tried to speak.

He sucks in a breath when Junhee crouches down to meet him at eye-level.  Sehyoon stays perfectly still as Junhee looks him over, reaching out a hand to tilt Sehyoon’s head up when he drops his gaze to the ground.

"Look at me," Junhee murmurs. Sehyoon doesn't know how to say no, so he does. It's difficult, but he does. Junhee's eyes flicker down to his lips. "Kiss me."

Sehyoon has to lean forward and crane his neck to obey, but it's worth it for the way Junhee hums against his lips and flicks his tongue inside, pushing him slowly but surely back with his insistence.

Junhee pulls back, laughing just a little at the way Sehyoon chases his lips.

"Stay there," he purrs, running his fingers down Sehyoon's cheek, down to press again at Sehyoon's throat. "You can be good for me, yeah?"

Sehyoon swallows audibly, the motion making Junhee's fingers rise and dip on his skin.

"Yeah," he whispers back.

"Good boy." Junhee cocks his head, almost pensive if not for the thin veneer of cruelty beneath. "You're like a puppy, huh? I've always thought so."

Sehyoon's blood goes hot and cold, like he wants to run away and melt into the ground all at once. It's not that he hasn't thought about it, but he's never thought about how it would actually sound out loud and especially not like this. Not from Jun.

He doesn't know what his face looks like, but whatever it holds makes Junhee's eyes go wide and his body tense like he's about to draw back entirely.

"Sorry, I don't know what —"

"It's okay," Sehyoon says, trying desperately to find his voice so Junhee doesn't leave him cold. "It's okay, I... I like it, I think."

Junhee sighs, smiles just like himself for a moment before his expression sharpens again.

"Of course you like it," Junhee hums, "you're always so eager to follow directions."  He says it like he knew all along, and somehow the bravado works.

Sehyoon nods again, quickly, hyper-aware of the way his knees ache, of Junhee’s hand on his throat with every passing, heated second.  Junhee’s gaze flicks over his body — he’s clearly aware of Sehyoon’s arousal, and how could he not be when it’s so blindingly obvious.

“Stay still, puppy.”  Junhee grins and stands, towering over him once again.

And with slow, measured movements, he takes a step forward and nudges Sehyoon’s thighs open with his foot, slotting his leg in-between so Sehyoon’s erection is pressed up against his shin.

Sehyoon has to squeeze his eyes shut.  The urge to move is overwhelming, competing fiercely with Junhee’s words echoing in his ears.

His fingers curl in the fabric of his sweatpants, desperate for something to ground him as Jun pushes forward, gifting him rough, blunt pleasure.  He can hear these little cut-off whines, and it takes him a moment to realize that they’re his own noises.

“Listen to you,” Junhee murmurs.  “You sound so pathetic, and just from this.”

He slides his fingers into Sehyoon’s hair, tugging lightly to tilt Sehyoon’s face up.  There’s a haze settling over Sehyoon’s thoughts, every shift like moving through syrup.  He knows his mouth is hanging open but can’t find the willpower to close it.

“Do you think you could come from this, puppy?” asks Junhee, pulling his leg back only to press the sole of his foot to Sehyoon’s dick through the layers of fabric.

The pressure is half-pleasure, half-pain and he doesn’t know how to process it beyond trying to curl around it with a groaning whine.  Junhee doesn’t let up, setting an excruciating rhythm of push-and-pull as he draws back minutely and then presses up against Sehyoon’s cockhead.

“Please,” Sehyoon hears himself say, quiet and ragged, “Jun, please.”

“What, puppy?”  Junhee sounds utterly gleeful, leaning down slightly to take hold of Sehyoon’s chin and force eye contact.  “What do you need?”

Sehyoon tries hopelessly to think through the fog in his head, unconsciously rutting his hips forward all the while.

“I need —” he starts, licks his lips, tries, “need… I need —”

“You need?  You need?”  It’s outright mockery at this point, and Junhee laughs so meanly that if Sehyoon were prone to tears, he thinks he’d be crying.

"Don't know," Sehyoon mumbles, too caught up in everything to keep his thoughts coherent, the burning need overtaking everything else.

"Oh, of course. What you need is for me to tell you what you need, huh?" Junhee pushes his thumb between Sehyoon's lips and he latches on gratefully, focus narrowing down to the weight of it on his tongue.

Junhee giggles. "Look at that. You really are a puppy."  He replaces his thumb with two fingers, thrusting them in and out in time with his foot on Sehyoon's dick.  It makes Sehyoon keen wetly, the haze in his head thickening with every passing moment.

A blurry kind of panic makes itself known when Junhee pulls his foot away, the deliciously blunt pressure gone all at once, dragging him away from the peak he'd been striving towards.  He finds himself whining pitifully, hands coming up to grab onto Junhee's calves, hoping to pull them back.

"Hands off," Junhee snaps, sharp enough to make Sehyoon obey on instinct before his brain has truly caught up.  Jun pulls his fingers out of Sehyoon's mouth, a thread of saliva connecting them for a moment before breaking away.  "Good boy."

"Please, Jun."  It comes out so whiny and weak that Sehyoon feels his cheeks burn.

"Do you even know what you're asking for this time?"  Junhee cocks his head, half-smile on his face as he takes in the picture Sehyoon must make.

"Need you to touch me."  He ducks his head, barely getting the words out, every part of him aching.

Junhee won't allow him the luxury of asking while staring at his own knees, resuming his grip in Sehyoon's hair and forcing his head up.  The way Junhee looks at him, hair messy and face flushed, his eyes burning... Sehyoon thinks he'd give Junhee anything he demanded.

"Show me how you touch yourself," Junhee says, slowly, "when you're alone. All of it."

Sehyoon's stomach drops.

"I —"

"Or is it embarrassing?"  Junhee grins, cruelty in its tilt.  He uses his free hand to take himself out of his own pants and begin stroking.  "What, do you fuck yourself every time?"

Sehyoon bites his lip, gaze fixed on Junhee's dick — the way he gathers precum to ease the slide, thumbing around the head.  "Not every time."

Junhee laughs.  "It's okay, puppy. Maybe you can show me that another time."

The thought makes Sehyoon burn.  Fucking himself with Junhee's eyes on him, or — or one of the others, maybe all of them, all watching him open up.  He realizes he's squeezed his eyes shut when Junhee slaps his cheek so lightly that it barely stings.

"Come on, I told you to touch yourself. Show me how you do it."

Sehyoon takes a deep breath.  It would be easy to just take himself in hand and make it quick — he's been on edge long enough that it wouldn't take long, but Junhee had said he wants to see more.  He wants to see all of it.

He pushes his shirt up with one hand, hooking it between his teeth and rubbing his fingers over his nipples the way he does when he's alone in bed at night, furtive and pent-up.  Playing with himself like this, already so desperate and on-edge, feels like the worst kind of teasing.  He hears Junhee give a long sigh.

"Fuck, that's hot," Jun breathes.  "You're sensitive, huh?"

Sehyoon can't speak, not sure what he'd say if he could, but he nods.  It's the truth, and he's far beyond the point where he could deny Junhee anything.  He pinches his nipples and groans at the sharp pain.

"Go on, puppy, show me how you make yourself come."  Junhee's voice is strained, and when Sehyoon looks up, he's biting hard on his lip, his hand moving frantically on his cock.  He must be close.

Tentative and flustered, Sehyoon drops his shirt and places a palm flat on the floor between his legs.  Closing his eyes against Junhee’s scrutiny, he ruts against his forearm, the friction of his damp sweatpants making him shudder.  Everything aches, building and seething in his gut.

“Is that how you get off?” Junhee demands, laughter creeping in at the breathless edges of his words.  It makes Sehyoon want to curl into himself, to hide his face and muffle the sounds he makes, but he can’t — not with Junhee tugging his hair and forcing his eyes up.

“Yeah,” Sehyoon manages, so quiet can barely hear himself.  Junhee clearly expects more, eyebrow raised, and he swallows.  “I — my pillow, I —”

“Oh, that’s cute.”  Junhee’s grin curls to show the full glimmer of his sharp teeth.  “Humping things to get off, just like a dog.”

Maybe it’s the way Junhee says it, maybe it’s that he’s been on edge for so long, but it’s enough.  Sehyoon comes with a muffled keen, biting down on the meat of his palm and rutting even harder into his own wrist, shuddering through every part of his body.

“Fuck, Sehni,” Jun groans, “that was — fuck, I’m close.  Wanna come on your face, puppy.”

Sehyoon looks up, blinking slowly, still wracked with aftershocks as he rocks against his arm and lets his mouth fall open.  He’s only half-processed Junhee’s words, but he knows that whatever Jun wants, he’ll want it, too — it hasn’t failed him so far.

Junhee’s hand in his hair tightens and his hand goes frantic on his own dick as he shoots over Sehyoon’s face, hot and sticky and messy, landing on his lips and cheeks and dripping down his chin.  His tongue darts out, catching what he can — it’s salty, bitter, but he doesn’t find it in himself to care.

Junhee’s breathing hard, petting through Sehyoon’s hair with some semblance of tenderness.  Sehyoon leans into it, following each instinct as it rolls through him, unable to quite access the parts of himself that would allow him more agency.  He finds that it feels nice, existing in this space — it’s familiar, in a way.

“Sehni,” Jun murmurs, after a long, quiet moment, “look at me?”

Sehyoon does as he’s asked.  Junhee looks worried, but it melts into a close-lipped, lopsided smile when Sehyoon meets his eyes.

“You okay?” Junhee asks, flopping to sit on the floor and pulling off his t-shirt.  He scoots closer to Sehyoon, bringing the shirt up to his face to wipe away the mess.  Sehyoon leans into his touch, brain still lagging a moment behind his body.

“Mmhm.”  He closes his eyes, allows Junhee to take care of him.  It’s not far from normal, in that way.  Junhee huffs a quiet laugh at whatever expression is on his face, but Sehyoon doesn’t mind.

“That was, ah…”  Junhee seems lost for words, perhaps for the first time that whole evening.  He shakes his head, grinning.  “Fun?”

Sehyoon can’t help but laugh a little, finding his voice rough from disuse.  “Yeah.  It was fun.”

Junhee kisses him, then, sweet and slow and everything their encounter hasn’t been.  Sehyoon sighs into it gratefully, lets it coax him closer to full awareness — the way Junhee tastes, the floor under his hands, the stagnant air of the studio.

“We should talk about this,” Junhee murmurs between kisses.

Sehyoon groans and pulls back, dropping his forehead onto Junhee’s shoulder.  He nuzzles into the crook of his neck.  All he can think about is getting back to the dorms, maybe convincing Junhee to stay in his bed for the night and spoon him until he falls asleep.

“Tomorrow?” he pleads, lips pressed to Junhee’s shoulder.

“Hyung...”  Junhee cups his jaw, pushing him gently back so they can see each other.  “I just need to know if you want this to be a — a one-time thing.”

Sehyoon swallows, eyes falling to Junhee’s lips when his eyes prove too difficult to meet.

“Because that’s fine,” Junhee continues, and he’s rambling, Sehyoon can tell, “we can go back and this can just be what it was, and we don’t have to do anything about it, but —”

“I liked it,” Sehyoon interrupts, voice a little stronger now.  “A lot.”

Junhee blows out a breath.  “Okay.  I should… the thing is, I fuck around with Hunnie sometimes, and I think maybe I should tell him, if we’re going to keep doing this.”

Sehyoon’s tongue-tied for a moment by the image that conjures, sure he’s got a stupid look on his face, but he manages to shake it off.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he says.  “I need to, uh… Kwannie, he should —”

Junhee’s eyebrows shoot up, and it’s so dramatic and so him that Sehyoon can’t help but giggle.

“We just kiss sometimes,” he mumbles, willing himself not to blush — how could that possibly be embarrassing after everything they’ve just done?

“Maybe we need to have a full-group meeting about this,” Junhee wonders, carding his fingers through Sehyoon’s hair.  “Make a schedule or something.”

Sehyoon snorts.  “That sounds complicated.”

“Probably.”  Junhee hums, tightening his arms around Sehyoon.  “We’ll figure it out.”